Scott Hanselman

Link-bait Hacker Slash News Dot Considered Cancerous Request For Call To Action

December 15, '11 Comments [299] Posted in Musings
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Considered Harmful

Declarative statement opening blog statement. Back away from declarative statement slightly, pivot then double down with even more controversial declarative statement. Insult beloved programming language and assert newer language's idiomatic aesthetic as superior. Including backing statistics with missing Y-axis labels to prop up weak link-bait including declarative statement. Reference Linus, invoke Dijkstra. Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.

Biased Benchmarks

Supporting albeit equivocating statement. Weak marginally equivocating statement because I want to be on TechCrunch. Farmville.

if 1 then A
else if 2 then B
else if 3 then C
else/otherwise D

Supporting K&R C quote inducing page references with non sequitur reference to Mythical man month.

Use the right tool for the right job. Grep harder. Appeal to authority. Fowler invocation asserting Turing completeness. That's not NP complete. Try to grok harder.

UR doing it wrong

I suggest you try it again. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. Finding a needle in a haystack isn't hard when every straw is computerized. Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! Soothe us with sweet lies.

There's a cat in that computer. It's running a custom Mint Distro. That's a meme!

 It's a cat in a computer. That's a MEME.

Use the right tool for the right job. SRSLY. Down-voted into oblivion. Obscure Spolsky link justifying contrarian position.. It's a Atwoodian tautology.

Accusations of intellectual dishonesty


Off-handed reference to FizzBuzz, dreamy reminiscence of Programming Pearls, reference to my first Altair and frustration at the current state of affairs.

CmdrTaco name drop, dig at Digg, Y-Combinator sour grapes. I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. It's a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.

Reference to pointless diagram and misplaced frustration at Large Company. Comment directed at patent trolls combined with acerbic witty statement with regards to Lessig and software patents pointlessness.

Random bolded concluding sentence.

Follow me. Read my blog. I have opinions.

About Scott

Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.

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Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:45:03 UTC
Rob Conery
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:49:26 UTC
Awesome. You're finally making sense, Hanselman!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:49:32 UTC
Attacking statement at the person who claimed "first".

Further comment designed to incite discussion by completely misquoting the author.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:50:13 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:50:43 UTC
Obligatory supporting statement of articles viewpoints while rebutting all of them
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:50:45 UTC
Obligatory comment claiming to be First which is not, in fact, first!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:51:36 UTC
I think I read this post before
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:52:10 UTC
Check the water.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:52:38 UTC
Taking bait.


Obligatory comparison to Hitler/Nazis.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:53:10 UTC
Statement supporting obviousness of opposing position because the above can't be right given it is from a Microsoft shill.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:53:24 UTC
Stray comment asking question unrelated to post.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:53:33 UTC
This must be the equivalent of a programmer's blog version of Fitter, Happier...
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:55:13 UTC
Unrelated advertisement for low cost pharmaceutical products.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:55:39 UTC
Appreciative statement of my supportive community.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:56:09 UTC
Fanboy accusation followed by truth according to me.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:56:10 UTC
Why would you invoke ?
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:57:10 UTC
lol wind0ze
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:57:13 UTC
'Me too' comment with link to my own near-identical blog post for SEO purposes.
Andy Vulhop
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:57:33 UTC
OCD comment criticizing sloppy tab indention of code sample.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:57:55 UTC
Hopefully this is not the first post someone reads on your blog!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:58:02 UTC
Rob Conery
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:58:05 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 21:58:53 UTC
Comment surprised at number of comments. Expectations of Godwin's Law being fulfilled soon.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:00:10 UTC
False declaration of fanboi respect for author, claiming almost soulmate level of mutual understanding for post subject without actually understanding post, subject, and spelling author's name incorrectly.

Link to personal blog attempting to get more hits.

Unsaid plead for acceptance.

Painfully uncool signoff.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:00:38 UTC
In-my-mind-only-insight tangentially related to the above that really makes no sense at all. Demand that Scott recognize my brilliance.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:01:31 UTC
Attack comment misspelling and declare grammar superiority. Fanboy. Jobs.Rails.Attempted witty statement to invalidate entire post.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:01:58 UTC
Actually insightful comment which notices a grave error in the supporting graphs and code, but which has been lost in a sea of comments and will never be noticed by anyone, especially the author.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:02:15 UTC
Attempt to derail conversation, rule 34, nazis, trollcats.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:02:32 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:02:32 UTC
Elitest reference to Hofstader. It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s law.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:03:43 UTC
Catch phrase!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:03:44 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:04:08 UTC
Statement supporting both sides claiming that the correct way is somewhere in the middle.

Obligatory statement that I've tried both ways to give my self credibility.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:04:20 UTC
Obligatory attack on Microsoft using the initials M$ followed by criticism of anyone not using Linux to make their toast in the morning.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:04:22 UTC
Obligatory I copied your code and it didn't work why is it not working.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:05:24 UTC
Comment to ask for the code in a different language.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:06:30 UTC
Complaint that blog post like the above are the reason I never read this blog anymore.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:06:31 UTC
SOPA violation notice comment about use of copyright protected lolcat images.

too soon?
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:06:32 UTC
Spam for a certain brand of boots
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:06:50 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:06:54 UTC
Request for help with homework assignment.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:08:09 UTC
AAAAAAAA++++ would read again.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:08:13 UTC

I blogged about this months ago at <insert my url here>
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:08:24 UTC
Desperate pleading for "teh codez" from an entirely unrelated blog post written by blog author years ago.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:08:41 UTC
Useless statement that everyone ignores and scrolls past.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:08:56 UTC
Not a real comment but an excuse to link to a meme pic, gets upvote.

Wait you don't have voting here. DISAPPOINT.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:09:05 UTC
Hi Scott - could you email me teh kohdz? I'd like to mention bacon and web scale at this time.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:09:23 UTC
Elitist claim that Lisp supported blog post argument years ago.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:09:46 UTC
Comment that starts out by pointing out how terrible spam comments are on blogs, but turns out to be a spam comment itself in the end.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:10:03 UTC
Friendly salutation,

Statement that indicates I have an issue with a random completely unrelated problem with system and/or homework that I need to complete.

Demand for you to help me without reason including deadline for your help.

Email address to send answers to.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:10:13 UTC
Comment completely unrelated to the OP.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:10:23 UTC
Obligatory comment claiming provided code does not work given in broken English and requesting full source code, including apology for poor English.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:10:39 UTC
Remark about how my insightful observation would be noticed had I commented earlier, but now I am doomed to the oblivion of obscurity.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:11:08 UTC
Why is this not working on my machine?
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:12:33 UTC
Pointing out minor typo while including simlar typo in own comment. Accidental double-post.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:12:39 UTC
Pointing out minor typo while including simlar typo in own comment. Accidental double-post.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:12:48 UTC
Kind response of appreciation to TorgoGuy's continued douchebaggery event though he's a troll. Reassertion of Nice Guy image by OP.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:12:48 UTC
long-winded comment attacking the "young-ens", declaring their rubies, gems, perls and all other stones to be garbage! Oh if only development were the way development used to be. Maybe even a smattering of assembly code thrown in for good measure.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:12:51 UTC
Apology for accidental double-post.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:13:55 UTC
Flame-worthy, misguided, and plainly wrong statement on shameful use of tax dollars to fund another private study on endless cat-in-computer memes.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:15:15 UTC
Pointing out a minor typo in the double-poster's comment pointing out a minor typo.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:15:49 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:16:03 UTC
Completely superflous comment that I insist on making solely for the purpose of feeling like I have something to contribute to a conversation that is above my head and outside of my personal area of expertise.

- Bikeshedder
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:17:04 UTC
Realizes disregard to last statement. Restates useless statement and demands attention.

Posts lame comments and makes chiding remarks about your appearance, then goes onto make "YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT" jokes.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:17:11 UTC
Comment in support of TorgoGuy simply because OP called him a troll.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:17:29 UTC
Hey now Scott,

Love this post. It really made my day.

ComputerZen Fan,
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:17:39 UTC
Comment attacking @codeimpossible with link to benchmark touting development time metrics compared to C++.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:18:57 UTC
Pointing out multple spellingerrors while having multiple spellingerrors in this comment. Also pointing out that spellingerrors make your point moot.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:19:04 UTC
Random never-ending statement completely unrelated to the post. But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure? On the other hand, we denounce with righteous indignation and dislike men who are so beguiled and demoralized by the charms of pleasure of the moment, so blinded by desire, that they cannot foresee.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:19:21 UTC
Formulaic meta-comment.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:19:26 UTC
Hi My Name is JACK WALKER. I'm a specialist recruiter always searching for THE BEST IN THE INDUSTRY and always on the look for someone with MAD NINJA SKILLZ (and I've read in a book I believe I bought via an Amazon top 20 list - or was it in SLC airport that you need to seem FRESH to be attractive?) in JAVA, c# and if you're really good at PROGRAMMING HTML it would be awesome. Would you mind send me your CV?
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:19:56 UTC
Comment laboriously authored for 12 minutes only to be deleted and never submitted. (not shown)
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:20:03 UTC
Comment defending position to @digitalbush using graphs I made in wordart.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:20:58 UTC
Troll trolling about how terrible Microsoft is. All hail Google.

Posted from iPhone. ;)
Adam Balicki
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:21:19 UTC
Huge block of code with rewrite of code sample to get it to "work" in some other circumstances. Decades later, frantic Google-Search-Copy-Paste certified developers will try this code when the above code doesn't work for them.

This code in fact does compile, but introduces a severe logic and / or security bug.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:21:49 UTC
Reminds me of this other thing that I worked on previously which isn't really related to this, but I am going to tie the two together in no less than 16 paragraphs.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:22:24 UTC
Comment from sysadmin gods telling you that this is a duplicate and a link to said duplicate with different question. Your entry will be removed right after a few other people have commented telling you what a fool you are that you did not google it first. Thus blaming you for sites lack of searchable content.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:22:29 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:22:52 UTC
Comment pointing out the social status of said post. Upvote your tweet pluses so we can get #1 on Hackdot FaceTweet Pluser!!1!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:23:45 UTC
Comment pointing out the social status of said post. We made it to #1!!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:24:04 UTC
We aggree to the following comment.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:24:37 UTC
Hey!!!! You say that this blog is about CONVERSATIONS but why do you MODERATE?!?! I'm a super important socialmedia guru and actually too busy to post on your niche blog, but I actually made an exception throwing characters of digital puke and you should be happy.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:25:22 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:25:36 UTC
Comment meant for another post on a totally different blog but halfway through I realize my mistake but decide to run with it and pray nobody notices.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:26:23 UTC
Another comment asking for his comments to be deleted after they were published manually after being flagged by akismet.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:26:27 UTC

|\_/| ****************************
/ @ @ \ * Comment has pwned *
( > º < ) * by *
`»»x««´ * t3h adminz!!11one *
/ O \ ****************************
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:27:12 UTC
Sentence by sentence rebuttal of post.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:27:23 UTC
Want to increase your SEO? Follow me on twitter (@SEO4LESS) to learn how!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:28:13 UTC
Mention of insight into my new world view which is my new religion that you can be a part of for 22.95. Link to said religion. Sideways comment to previously mentioned pharmaceuticals and other radicals that should be destroyed.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:28:42 UTC
a link to something you've already linked to in the article (because I obviously haven't RTFA)
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:29:18 UTC

"Title of the Song" by Da Vinci's Notebook
Declaration of my feelings for you
Elaboration on those feelings
Description of how long these feelings have existed
Belief that no one else could feel the same as I

Reminiscence of the pleasant times we shared
And our relationship’s perfection
Recounting of the steps that led to our love’s dissolution
Mostly involving my unfaithfulness and lies

Penitent admission of wrongdoing
Discovery of the depth of my affection
Regret over the lateness of my epiphany

Title of the song
Naïve expression of love
Reluctance to accept that you are gone
Request to turn back time
And rectify my wrongs
Repetition of the title of the song

Enumeration of my various transgressive actions
Of insufficient motivation
Realization that these actions led to your departure
And my resultant lack of sleep and appetite

Renunciation of my past insensitive behavior
Promise of my reformation
Reassurance that you still are foremost in my thoughts now
Need for instructions how to gain your trust again

Request for reconciliation
Listing of the numerous tasks that I’d perform
Of physical and emotional compensation


Acknowledgment that I acted foolishly
Increasingly desperate pleas for your return
Sorrow for my infidelity
Vain hope that my sins are forgivable
Appeal for one more opportunity
Drop to my knees to elicit crowd response
Prayers to my chosen deity
Modulation and I hold a high note…

Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:29:21 UTC
DMCA Takedown request for artwork used in post
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:30:00 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:30:30 UTC
hello to redditors comment.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:30:58 UTC
Floyd Burger
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:31:41 UTC
a completely generic commendation without mentioning any article content

links to extremely spammy sites
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:31:48 UTC
Asking if the OP will marry him.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:31:53 UTC
Obligatory kick-back from some kicking site that needs a good kicking
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:32:21 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:32:28 UTC
Explanation that our perception is flawed.
Mentioning something about neuroscience. Giving a whole new perspective on the issue.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:33:57 UTC
I see your Dijkstra and raise you a Hopper.

Alter previous paragraph to proceed to next comment.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:34:17 UTC
Anonymous Coward
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:34:47 UTC
Comment claiming that Hanselman has, yet again, jumped the shark.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:35:11 UTC
Reasonable sounding argument that few could logically dispute but worded in such a way that it only just veils an intense level of bigotry and contempt.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:35:18 UTC
This is missing the list bait: ELEVEN REASONS WHY!
Kelly Guimont
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:35:45 UTC
"I liked this post better when Jeff Atwood wrote it." ;)
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:36:22 UTC
Given that, me, the troll, has just been fed by getting recognition by the OP, new post continuing my trolling, claiming victory.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:37:02 UTC
Comment about how it is absolutely absurd that once again the user interface here has been redesigned and I'm being forced to use a different view of a service that I pay nothing for.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:37:16 UTC
Contrasting opinion stated as fact.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:39:02 UTC
Whining about how the comments suck and I'm going to thumb down all your youtube videos.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:39:20 UTC
Christian Horsdal
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:39:51 UTC
Complaint that this commenting system is flawed and includes neither threading nor voting. Ragequit.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:40:09 UTC
I'm going to unfollow you on Twitter now. I think it's not only important that you know this, but I expect you to feel a reasonable level of guilt for leaving me no other choice based on your actions that I won't point out without using ALL CAPS.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:41:02 UTC
Post announcing that I'm signing off for tonight, but that I will return tomorrow to reply to all counterarguments to my argument expressed here, thinking that you all actually care and will return to here to bask in my wisdom.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:42:22 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:43:06 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:43:09 UTC
Apologizing for previous empty comment. Blaming iPhone for posting it too early. No actual comment.
Christian Horsdal
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:43:54 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:50:28 UTC
What is this I don't even
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:51:01 UTC
Statement berating OP use of system A and not system B

Statement bringing into question sexual preferences of previous commenters

Statement that contradicts previous comment
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:51:38 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:53:18 UTC
Too many comments; comment that repeats what 10 other comments already said.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:54:08 UTC
Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:54:09 UTC
Shameless plug that I've already covered this topic before on my own blog, please see this link:

Thursday, 15 December 2011 22:56:59 UTC
125th comment!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:00:57 UTC
Comment pointing out that in Mother Russia, tech site linkbait you!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:03:46 UTC
Over-eager developer trying to earn MVP status, who has just created a CodePlex project to try to address the issues in the OP, and posts <link to said project> with invitation to everyone to please help contribute!
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:06:32 UTC
John Walker
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:08:21 UTC
Recruiter, wondering if you'd be interested in a Senior .Net Developer position with a major Fortune 100 company. Please send your resume to douchebag @
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:24:04 UTC
This is all bull. IE sucks. When will you fix my problem? Typical Microsoft.
Alex Norcliffe
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:28:41 UTC
Wow, this is even funnier than (I know, hard to believe right?!) the #DifferentNamesForSourceCodeTheMovie thread on twitter. (Can't remember the actual hashtag, but you get the idea.)
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:33:31 UTC
What my fellow commenters seem to be missing is the fact that you work at Microsoft and therefore your viewpoints are invalid.


Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:37:12 UTC
Accusation of sexism, racism, speciesism due to your failure to advocate positions actually advocated in your post which I did not read.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:39:04 UTC
Surprise that OP was productive enough to produce this work given that they clearly use an inferior text editor to my one, true text editor.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:39:28 UTC
You've been kicked ( a good thing) by <insert URL of screen scraping website that will destroy my search results> !
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:41:05 UTC
Comment repeated by person repeatedly refreshing page and ignoring re-post warning.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:41:33 UTC
Comment repeated by person repeatedly refreshing page and ignoring re-post warning.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:42:10 UTC
Comment repeated by person repeatedly refreshing page and ignoring re-post warning.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:43:52 UTC
Vague attempt to express excessive positive emotion created through consumption of visitor provided notes located below host provided content.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:46:34 UTC
"Obligatory XKCD reference" that isn't funny or germane.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:48:00 UTC
Obligatory comment praising Apple and Adroid will fail.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:48:13 UTC
Obligatory post citing obligatory xkcd reference
Admiral N00b
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:52:51 UTC
"Comment about how it is absolutely absurd that once again the user interface here has been redesigned and I'm being forced to use a different view of a service that I pay nothing for."

^^^ This!!

Espen Andreassen
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:53:50 UTC
This starts an interesting discussion but I can't be bothered to paste it here so I'm posting the link to my blog that noone ever heard about. Here it is: link-bait hacker slash news not dot com <.........>...
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:56:09 UTC
Smug comment pointing out that the post misses the essence without providing a supporting argument.
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:58:34 UTC
l o l
Thursday, 15 December 2011 23:59:18 UTC
Appreciative comment on blog in general. List of agreed points and unsolicited personal opinion. List of disagreements with more unsolicited personal opinion. Point out minor grammatical error. Reaffirming comment to author so as not to appear offensive and apply the sandwich criticism technique.
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:12:05 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:12:23 UTC
insert typeof(sincere supportive statement). assert cozy community feeling via another contribution to large volume response wave. grant respect to author for candidness. award use of "tautology" noun with +2^9 gratitude. -T

Friday, 16 December 2011 00:14:14 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:16:39 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:18:47 UTC
Tangential anecdote about how this technical issue was solved back in the days before most of the readers of this article were born.
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:23:58 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:24:52 UTC
+1 for ascii art
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:25:14 UTC
Thinly-veiled attempt at impersonating OP.
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:29:45 UTC
Self-satisfied comment that I am completely convinced ends the discussion.
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:31:41 UTC
Clemens Vasters
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:40:09 UTC
Me 3!
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:49:52 UTC
Comment that links to shameless and unattributed copy of this same blog post forgetting to even change avatar of author.

V1a6ra Ad

Weak attempt at copying humor of post author, followed by *chuckle, chuckle* and three rows of emoticons.

Ending with stalkingly creepy fanboy message, mentioning new flower bed that blog post author installed on his front lawn just yesterday, followed by "see you round the neighborhood *chief inspector dreyfus eye-stuttering wink*"
Rick Hodder
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:52:35 UTC
Comentarios traducidos a través de Google Translate.
Friday, 16 December 2011 00:56:40 UTC
Token Indian Guy asking to pls send me teh codez to Urgent required immediately. Pls do the needful.

Thank you in advance.
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:04:57 UTC
I came here looking for posts on Black Hair. Can you send me information on Black Hair?
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:10:23 UTC
Hi Scott,

I have mistakenly used this comment form to send a private message to you.
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:13:12 UTC
Unusually formal greetings to OP.

Too-good-to-be-true business proposal related to sudden but unfortunate death of Nigerian prince husband.

Invitation to send prayers and account details to complete transaction.

Unusually formal closing.
Nigerian Prince Widow
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:13:17 UTC
Also this site looks like crap on Mosaic 2.1.1. I don't understand why I have to upgrade MY browser to look at YOUR site.
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:17:15 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:21:16 UTC
Wishes the community knew who I was, claims a command-line example is better, it sounded leet. Messes up my 1337 and now sound like a poser. IronRuby-Python, GitHubbers rule, HTTP is really only an implementation of REST, not actually REST. Goes back to writing ASP.NET CRUD app in VB.NET with DataGrids, hard core postbacks, FTW! Links to own blog, congrats to whoever posted the one, hopes for Adsense revenue.
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:21:22 UTC
Meta-comment complaining of all the meta-comments. Explanation that the OP is either a lame joke or 2012's template for all blog posts. Sudden realization of meta-ness. Meta-meta reference. Infinite loop due to recursion, head 'splode.
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:24:14 UTC
Great post ! I so appreciate this site. This is the information I was looking for.
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:24:54 UTC
This is my "Formulaic meta-comment" mentioned above. What type of comment was yours?
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:35:54 UTC
All your surprise links to an old bald man bending over and playing some heinus Rick Astley song are belong to Scott Hanselman!

Lasting peace and happiness for *ALL* human beings.
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:41:47 UTC
Repeat comment.
Friday, 16 December 2011 01:41:58 UTC
Repeat comment.
Friday, 16 December 2011 02:17:48 UTC
Troll comment attacking all FizzBuzz posters and their lame code samples.

Elitist posts showing FizzBuzz in assembler and brainf*ck!

Random Lolcat image

smiley face, smiley face


p.s comment thanking OP for bestest blog on tha intarwebz
Friday, 16 December 2011 02:39:37 UTC
Shift + F5 !
Friday, 16 December 2011 02:46:03 UTC
Tenuous link to rant about pet peeve.
Friday, 16 December 2011 02:54:15 UTC
vim > emacs
Friday, 16 December 2011 03:09:29 UTC
What's the need ?
Do you miss the public?
Friday, 16 December 2011 03:14:33 UTC
Asked Jeeves to try and find something witty to say...Crap!

I don't know what OP means.

Scott is no longer trying to sell his toy train collection.

No one's called anyone a Nazi in the comments yet. Impressive.

Wait for it...
Wait for it...

Nigerian Princess!

It took me an hour to write this and someone took my Lolcat idea.

@Adam Toth - LOL
Friday, 16 December 2011 03:18:07 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 03:19:37 UTC
Comment praising author and commenters. Claim this is proof of superiority of technology community A over technology community B. Closing claim of platonic affection for all of you. Link to Wikipedia article on <a href=">Platonic love</a>. Snarky comment on position of article title relative to picture of some random Wikipedia author.
Friday, 16 December 2011 03:26:53 UTC
Second attempt at linking URL
Platonic love
Angry comment about commenting system despite my obvious inability to follow directions.
Friday, 16 December 2011 04:18:52 UTC
Comment indicating the unclosed bold tag above.
Friday, 16 December 2011 04:21:10 UTC
Comment educating previous commentor that strong is syntactically preferred over bold tags anyways. Misuse of the word "your" instead of "you're" when say "your not supposed to use bold tags anyways"
Friday, 16 December 2011 04:22:33 UTC
Comment from dude who wants to join the party too, but is really late to the game.
Friday, 16 December 2011 04:26:26 UTC
Second comment including a link to home page because it was forgotten in the first comment.
Friday, 16 December 2011 04:28:51 UTC
Request for support asking help and email on a technical issue with the dial-up modem, assuming this is the modem product's website/blog.
Ex: (Can u plz email me how to solve this **random modem issue** ASAP?)

5 Minutes later,
On presumption that no one listened, relentless frustration with the inability to solve the problem, slamming support personnel
Friday, 16 December 2011 04:34:36 UTC
Your face is a "Declarative statement"...

Abe Miessler
Friday, 16 December 2011 04:56:01 UTC
Commentaire obligatoire dans une autre langue qui démontre clairement que la personne n'a pas lu, ni compris le-dit article.
Friday, 16 December 2011 05:59:19 UTC
Comment by a toadie with hopes that you will notice me, maybe recognize me from previous comments, and hopefully trigger some response from you. Crossing my fingers that someone will follow the link to my blog and like something I have written myself.
Friday, 16 December 2011 06:36:23 UTC
Requesting link to source code, even though link exists in post.
Friday, 16 December 2011 06:39:06 UTC
Asking a question that has already been answered 3 times just because too lazy to read all other comments or using Ctrl+F.
Toob but anonymous
Friday, 16 December 2011 06:39:55 UTC
Kind reminder to always close the b-Tag</b>
Friday, 16 December 2011 07:17:31 UTC
I hate you Scott Guthrie, you were better when you had less hair and red tshirts, you spammer.
Friday, 16 December 2011 07:19:37 UTC
Communism accusation laced with pseudo patriotism to incite others commenting and derailing the topic.
Friday, 16 December 2011 07:58:11 UTC

Friday, 16 December 2011 08:13:11 UTC
fun really a fun post to read thank you so much for posting this for us
internet marketing belgium
Friday, 16 December 2011 08:21:01 UTC
Why to give comment?? and whts the point
Friday, 16 December 2011 08:39:03 UTC
Mostly irrelevant comment based on article title without reading the actual article. Followed by a paragraph on what the article should be about really.
Anonymous Coward
Friday, 16 December 2011 08:43:29 UTC
Pics or this post never happened!
Friday, 16 December 2011 09:04:14 UTC
Late comment not adding to the ongoing discussion.
Friday, 16 December 2011 09:08:55 UTC
What's the music in thiat video?
Friday, 16 December 2011 09:10:54 UTC
</b>Great post! I like the strong ending:

Random bolded concluding sentence.

Follow me. Read my blog. I have opinions

ps. why are all comments bold after peters comment?
Friday, 16 December 2011 09:24:29 UTC
You guys have lost the plot.
Friday, 16 December 2011 10:28:14 UTC
Apologising for only commenting a day behind the curve.

Trying to close the bold tag from above as recompense.
Friday, 16 December 2011 11:01:10 UTC
Reminds me very much of this:
Friday, 16 December 2011 11:06:10 UTC
LOL! Check out these totally cool pictures posted of you!
Friday, 16 December 2011 12:19:03 UTC
Midwest fanboy, reads in the early hours of his morning because the west coast advantage means he gets to these posts later. Thinks to himself, now that was clever.
Friday, 16 December 2011 12:49:07 UTC
Wow, finally some bite. I approve of this post, way better than the usual sugary evangelizing.
Friday, 16 December 2011 13:05:02 UTC
Random Skyrim reference about how I used to write blog posts like this one, until I took an arrow to the knee.
Friday, 16 December 2011 13:32:55 UTC
Comment added. Part of internet history forever.

Friday, 16 December 2011 13:40:42 UTC
Your an idiot and you're point is mute.
Friday, 16 December 2011 13:45:10 UTC
Comment deleted by moderator.
Friday, 16 December 2011 13:50:30 UTC
Comment requesting people who willfully misuse language to make a point to move out of their parent's basement
Friday, 16 December 2011 13:56:07 UTC
Random comment asking why they are making a prequel to Alien and demanding that Scott solve the Nickelback problem

Why haven't you friend requested me after posting for the first time??????

Friday, 16 December 2011 14:06:13 UTC
Wow. I've never seen such a content-free article filled with buzzwords.
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:07:17 UTC
Obligatory "Thanks!" and "This was exactly the help I needed today!" comment.
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:16:22 UTC
Scott, I'll drink/smoke the same thing you had the night your wrote this. I need something to help me generate ideas! :-)
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:49:01 UTC
After a disappointed ego-search to see if anybody has talked about my previous comments, new comment noting nobody has destroyed my argument.
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:49:19 UTC
Comment noting TorgoGuy's brilliance and my complete agreement with everything he says.
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:49:40 UTC
Comment agreeing with HosieryMarionette's assessment of my brilliance.
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:49:59 UTC
Comment accusing TorgoGuy of using a sock puppet account.
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:50:16 UTC
Comment denying I am TorgoGuy.
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:51:31 UTC
Angry comment stating that I, TorgoGuy, *obviously* am not HosieryMarionette and further stating "how dare you question my integrity". Statement that I'm never coming back to this blog. (Return occurrs two weeks later with no change to the endless trollish pattern.)
Friday, 16 December 2011 14:56:05 UTC
Lamentations that I have arrived too late to have my impactful comment read and taken seriously. Heed it anyway.
Friday, 16 December 2011 15:00:38 UTC
Irrelevant spam link about penile enlargement equipment
Friday, 16 December 2011 15:30:19 UTC
So I looked at the IL and A and B actually yield the same result, so you won't really see a performance gain using either one. I did that after I used reflector to inspect what Microsoft's code is doing.

Philip Holly
Friday, 16 December 2011 15:40:39 UTC
Comment not so subtly praising myself for actually having read ALL the comments. Snarky statement accusing others of NOT having read ALL the comments. Annoying use of CAPS for emphasis instead of html tags. Gratuitous praise of OP. Longwinded statement bemoaning how we've lost the thread of the conversation. Pointless final statement.
Tracy Dryden
Friday, 16 December 2011 15:41:21 UTC
Troll link which would explain why TorgoGuy has to use obvious sock puppets.
Friday, 16 December 2011 15:56:23 UTC
Long time reader, first time commenting.

Nicholas Murray.
Friday, 16 December 2011 15:59:32 UTC
I have an arrow in my knee too.
Friday, 16 December 2011 16:01:31 UTC
I will definitely subscribe to your feed! <never subscribes>
Friday, 16 December 2011 16:13:27 UTC
My trackback increases your page rank, but more importantly increases mine.
Friday, 16 December 2011 16:35:36 UTC
Comment opening, but not closing, a U tag
Friday, 16 December 2011 16:38:02 UTC
Accusation that previous comments are M$ astroturfing.
Friday, 16 December 2011 16:47:38 UTC
<sup>Does this work?
Super Script
Friday, 16 December 2011 16:48:54 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 16:53:10 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 17:10:26 UTC
Friday, 16 December 2011 17:25:02 UTC
Open invitation to all to hack in comments trying to exploit obvious flaw. Challenge to everyone's programming ego that cannot be ignored!
Friday, 16 December 2011 17:29:16 UTC
Unrelated comment about favoring composition over inheritance.
Friday, 16 December 2011 17:50:43 UTC
ik zou 'r doen
Jan Modaal
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:01:15 UTC
Irate developer who just got tricked into clicking on the "it's too good to be true" search result that lead him to Experts-Exchange for like that millionth time!
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:22:13 UTC
So, this an odata service for slashdot just like your one for stack overflow, right?
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:29:25 UTC
Repeat of points made two or three times in the comments above to indicated I haven't read the comments.
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:29:50 UTC
<font color=red size=7>Check to see if the not closing bold tag in previous comment can be improvised, and...
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:31:21 UTC
Having flashbacks, eh?
Michael Foltz
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:31:56 UTC
Another check to see if the not closing bold tag in previous comment can be improvised, works this time
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:34:55 UTC
Attempt to fix the unclosed bold tag
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:46:46 UTC
Weak attempt at misusing flawed comment system.
Thomas Krause
Friday, 16 December 2011 18:50:11 UTC
Thomas Krause
Friday, 16 December 2011 20:18:35 UTC
Confusingly useful, insightful, and relevant comment which happens to a spammy URL. Did someone working at that spammy place leave an insightful comment? Was it just spam that happened to look relevant due to complete coincidence? Moderate and wonder about it later?
Friday, 16 December 2011 20:23:24 UTC
The obligations and falicies of leadership. Nice blog. Have good holidays all.
Friday, 16 December 2011 20:43:21 UTC
Your post is evidence of the vast community-reach your blog has earned you.

Thanks for giving us all with this post, a place to shamelessly act like script-kiddies, trolls, and mega-nerds in the name of cathartic humor. I don't know many authors who would tolerate it much less support such expression.

I've always believed comiserating with good laughter (and a icy pint when possible) is always excellent emotional debugging.

I think I speak for many readers and commenters when I say we're sorry you were frustrated yesterday.
Friday, 16 December 2011 20:48:09 UTC
Thanks, Trey. You're very kind.
Scott Hanselman
Friday, 16 December 2011 20:57:12 UTC
I see /. has finally annoyed you enough to post about it... Hilarious!
Friday, 16 December 2011 21:04:13 UTC
Acronym to laugh out loud, but not actually laugh out loud.
Suggestion to author that article would make a great XKCD comic. Proud of brilliant though and hopes for fame and creation of comic.
Friday, 16 December 2011 21:05:09 UTC
Attempt #1 to make scrollbar a tiny sliver of pixels
Friday, 16 December 2011 21:08:18 UTC
Can youZ hwelp me F!x my codez?

char[] superStarz = new char[]{0x46,0x49,0x52,0x53,0x54}

Blog.Write( string.Format("{0}{1}{2}{3}{4}!!!!!!!", superStarz[0],superStarz[1], superStarz[2], superStarz[3], superStarz[4] ))
Saturday, 17 December 2011 01:32:33 UTC
Rushed warning that comments made by Scott Hanselman (having nothing to do with this actual post) have actually been discovered on a Slash News Dot website and predicting possibly certain inevitable (maybe) crash of his underpowered website and domain host due to overload of webtubes by geek hoards rushing to check out posts...or at least a few bonus hits by cats napping on keyboards.
Claus Valca
Saturday, 17 December 2011 03:14:17 UTC
Comment in a language you can't read [1]. Excuse the poor English.

[1] Citation needed
Saturday, 17 December 2011 14:38:52 UTC
Repeat of points made two or three times in the comments above to indicated I haven't read the comments.
Saturday, 17 December 2011 16:11:22 UTC
میں نے کچھ نہیں لکھا۔

<some cheap pharmacueticalz link with bad engrish>
Tanveer Badar
Saturday, 17 December 2011 18:30:19 UTC
Mentioning a good link I found while googling, it also has some excellent sample code that I haven't checked out.
Asking others if this is something I can use for my project.
Saturday, 17 December 2011 21:21:06 UTC
So true!
Saturday, 17 December 2011 22:54:28 UTC
Pathetic, unintelligent comment reflecting obvious Little Brother Syndrome.
Weak one-upmanship reference to Standardized Test Scores from twenty+ years ago.
Vain attempt to get anyone to look at me.
Sobbing in corner while hugging knees.
Holding original Snake Eyes figure.
Josh Hanselman
Sunday, 18 December 2011 15:09:02 UTC

What are you talking about in this blog? I have no idea why I even read the whole thing. Now this is going to give me bad stomach (a side reaction of my mind not able to understand something).

Save me some hospital bills.
Sunday, 18 December 2011 15:55:48 UTC
*This post should have been titled "Introduction", but nobody reads introductions. You could reveal that it is and introduction in the footnotes because nobody reads footnotes either.
Sunday, 18 December 2011 22:27:18 UTC
Obligatory comment about how poster agrees with the points in your post but have you seen the product from posters company called [insert company name here] that fixes this very problem
Monday, 19 December 2011 10:13:26 UTC
Comment of foreign dude who read this post 2 days later
Monday, 19 December 2011 12:29:56 UTC
Angry comment aimed at spelling errors in comment section.
Questions sanity of other comments and blogger, while leaving a spelling error.
Monday, 19 December 2011 16:14:34 UTC
This is all Obama's fault. Deregulation of the current socialist system is necessary for healthly blogosphere.
Ras Fred
Monday, 19 December 2011 16:15:26 UTC
Picture of Bill Gates in Borg gear, reference to the Evil Empire.
Ras Fred
Monday, 19 December 2011 17:04:54 UTC
Duplicate comment
Monday, 19 December 2011 17:05:06 UTC
Duplicate comment
Monday, 19 December 2011 18:31:32 UTC
Obligatory comment from a 3rd-world reader guilting you for living in America and shaming you for assuming that we all have technology x and running version y.

Proceed to tell you to be grateful that you don't have to crank your computer for 30 minutes and run windows 1.0 on a black and white monitor with no mouse and several missing keys and can only use it between 6 am and 7 am on even numbered days...

Sent from iPhone 4S
Geo Location: Virginia, USA
Monday, 19 December 2011 21:53:26 UTC



Tuesday, 20 December 2011 06:32:39 UTC
it's a good site and it's articles are fine.. i really enjoyed it..
Tuesday, 20 December 2011 13:44:42 UTC
Tuesday, 20 December 2011 18:10:04 UTC
Indication that this is the "best post ever".
Wednesday, 21 December 2011 06:31:55 UTC
the script which was given was super.
Thursday, 22 December 2011 22:05:16 UTC
commenting in an epic blog post
Friday, 23 December 2011 19:25:58 UTC
Super late post declaring this blog entry as t3h BEST EVAR!!!!
Kevin Clayborn
Sunday, 25 December 2011 12:04:20 UTC
ping / trackback <insert copied article url >
Sunday, 25 December 2011 13:26:31 UTC
Happy Holiday message that includes uncomfortable religious dogma.
Tuesday, 27 December 2011 21:57:17 UTC
Lame-o pilfering of previous comments in an attempt to sound cool.
Friday, 30 December 2011 01:21:29 UTC
Why didn't anyone link here?
Friday, 30 December 2011 18:19:36 UTC
Simpsons did it.
Monday, 02 January 2012 16:17:13 UTC
Monday, 09 January 2012 05:35:25 UTC
Frankly, “link baiting” sounds to me just like “being a good webmaster”. If we want our website to be considered worthwhile, then we need to add content to it that people want to link to naturally. Really appreciable post.
Friday, 13 January 2012 18:41:49 UTC
Comment weeks later asking if anyone found a solution.
Thursday, 19 January 2012 15:02:31 UTC
Ridiculously late-to-the-party comment comparing this post to another YouTube video.
Friday, 13 April 2012 16:24:28 UTC
Even more rediculously late-to-the-party comment asking if this thread is still active because I REALLY NEED TO KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS.
Tuesday, 24 April 2012 16:15:17 UTC
Wednesday, 24 October 2012 16:57:27 UTC
Eric Burcham
Wednesday, 05 December 2012 15:04:08 UTC
A comment too late to mean anything.
Sunday, 30 December 2012 22:58:28 UTC
A year late, but desperate to feel a part of the joke.
Comments are closed.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and do not represent my employer's view in any way.