South Africa 2008 - Being The White (or Black) Guy in the Family
Every non-White or Mixed family has the "White Uncle." Someone's daughter or cousin or sister married Scott or Jeff or Gary and he's the White Guy at family reunions. That's me. My wife's family has been very open about it and haven't given me any trouble other than friendly teasing about excessive whiteness. Surprisingly though, I'm the only one who can dance in this family, but that's another post altogether.
(This works the opposite way also, where every White family has the Black Guy, or Gay Cousin, or Little Person, or whatever. This is about being "The Other One," in the family...color doesn't really matter. I also happen to be the "diabetic one" as well as the "computer guy" so you get the idea.)
Being the White Guy usually gives you an extra hit point or two and a +1 bonus against faux pas. Everyone will cut you some slack if you say something clueless.
"What's this?"
"It's goat liver."
"How does he not eat goat liver for breakfast?"
"Who knows, he's White!"
This also works the other way, when you, as the Other One, have some mysterious knowledge or powers. If you're the Black Girl in a White Family, people will freak out when you get braids and suddenly you've gained a foot of length overnight. Or, they'll give you a hard time for not going swimming after coming from the salon. Ashy knees are a mystery to White People as is Pink hair oil, Yakky, Ambi, and Braid Sheen.
I've just received a nasty sunburn (my fault for not putting sunscreen on) after walking 3 klicks to the mall yesterday. This is the talk of the house as it's not something you see everyday around this family.
"It's going to peel off? Gross! You guys are fragile!"
"Thanks for declaring that amaKiwa (White People) are fragile because we burn slightly under the oppressive heat of your thousand African suns!"
This is a typical back and forth with the family here. I heard something in the news last week the scientists have finally proven that, from a DNA perspective, all of us are something like 99.9% identical, regardless of race. That may be true, but after 8 years of marriage and many trips home, we learn new random crazy stuff about each other every time.
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Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.
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Mike Wolf
Everybody is going to be beige eventually.
The rest 3% make huge difference.
Though in case of differences between people -- they are mostly defined by cultural differences, not by genetic.
Being the only black among whites can sometimes make me the expert on race relations in the US (never mind that I was born in Kampala, and spent the vast majority of childhood in Nairobi).
That whole not swimming thing is funny. It took me a long time to find the equivalent ("ashy") for what I knew in Nairobi as "parara."
A black man talks to a white man:
When I was born I was black,
When I grew up I was black,
When I'm sick I'm black,
When I go in the sun I'm black,
When I'm cold I'm black,
When I die I'll be black.
But you:
When you're born you're pink,
When you grow up you're white,
When you're sick, you're green,
When you go in the sun you turn red,
When you're cold you turn blue,
and when you die you turn purple.
And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!
Anyway, I relate to you on the topic of sunburn. My in-laws rub oil on themselves at the beach while I am applying 100 SPF sun tan lotion. They turn brown and I turn red!
My daughters are aspiring artists (proven by all the drawings taped to the walls of the house) so I used the same idea but with a twist. I asked them if they would like to color with only one color crayon from now on. They said no and I went on to tell them how if you only had one color crayon you couldn't color beautiful pictures and art would get boring. I said, Gods the same way. By having many people of different colors and cultures, it makes life fun and interesting. Discovery becomes a process we enjoy and we begin to look forward to learning new random crazy stuff about each other every time we meet.
I for one have been around myself all my life. The last thing I want is to do is meet someone just like me.
Life with them has been fascinating. I must have a thousand stories, but I'll give you two:
1. Not many months after the Ethio girls came home, we had a family "Fear Factor" of sorts: I had to eat some Ethiopian food, which is simultaneously both extremely spicy and...just gross. They had to eat some American food of my choosing. I chose grilled cheese sandwiches...they lost. Now (three years later) they make grilled cheese sandwiches about once a week :-)
2. It was quite a revelation for me when one of my Ethio girls confessed that she used to not like "white people".
Of course, my kids probably identify with you even more than I do. Not only are they dark in a light family, but...we live in Eastern Maine.
p.s. Frustratingly, I can't seem to use my OpenID (http://www.danielgpratt.com). I'm not sure what the problem is. I get redirected to Blogger's credentials page, but once I enter my credentials and get sent back to this site, I get a 404.
'You don't eat Goat Liver for breakfeast??'
What is a matter w/ u? That one made me laugh a lot.
Hanselminutes Fan,
Catto
I never realized us Indians have so much in common with folks in South Africa except for the goats liver of-course.
Keep writing.
At first there was a bit of an awe with her older relatives, the ones who don't speak English, as they were duly impressed that I was eating Kim che and other banchan and not requesting hamburgers or pizza or whatnot. But I think over the last 4+ years that surprise and interest has faded and I feel like I blend in more, so to speak. Although not in the family picture. You can clearly see the one white guy standing there in row three. :-)
My wife is Hispanic and Italian, so I know how being the "White guy" (in my case the "WASP") is. As far a food goes, other than New England Boiled dinner and BBQ white food pretty much sux, I much prefer food Hispanic and Italian cuisine, perhaps even more than my wife does...
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