Scott Hanselman

Every non-White or Mixed family has the "White Uncle." Someone's daughter or cousin or sister married Scott or Jeff or Gary and he's the White Guy at family reunions. That's me. My wife's family has been very open about it and haven't given me any trouble other than friendly teasing about excessive whiteness. Surprisingly though, I'm the only one who can dance in this family, but that's another post altogether.

(This works the opposite way also, where every White family has the Black Guy, or Gay Cousin, or Little Person, or whatever. This is about being "The Other One," in the family...color doesn't really matter. I also happen to be the "diabetic one" as well as the "computer guy" so you get the idea.)

Being the White Guy usually gives you an extra hit point or two and a +1 bonus against faux pas. Everyone will cut you some slack if you say something clueless.

"What's this?"

"It's goat liver."

"How does he not eat goat liver for breakfast?"

"Who knows, he's White!"

This also works the other way, when you, as the Other One, have some mysterious knowledge or powers. If you're the Black Girl in a White Family, people will freak out when you get braids and suddenly you've gained a foot of length overnight. Or, they'll give you a hard time for not going swimming after coming from the salon. Ashy knees are a mystery to White People as is Pink hair oil, Yakky, Ambi, and Braid Sheen.

I've just received a nasty sunburn (my fault for not putting sunscreen on) after walking 3 klicks to the mall yesterday. This is the talk of the house as it's not something you see everyday around this family.

"It's going to peel off? Gross! You guys are fragile!"

"Thanks for declaring that amaKiwa (White People) are fragile because we burn slightly under the oppressive heat of your thousand African suns!"

This is a typical back and forth with the family here. I heard something in the news last week the scientists have finally proven that, from a DNA perspective, all of us are something like 99.9% identical, regardless of race. That may be true, but after 8 years of marriage and many trips home, we learn new random crazy stuff about each other every time.

About Scott

Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.

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As an American, one of the things that stands out to me each time I visit South Africa is that everything is fenced. And not just fenced, but tall-concertina-wire-electric-angry-fenced. No country I've ever visited has fences this dramatic. 

People live in named communities (I can't help but to internally think of them as burbclaves) that are a collection of houses surrounded by a fence. These are similar to the named neighborhoods (developments) in the states, except for the posted guard and gate with a keypad. Once you're inside the community, each house still has their own fence, gates, and bars on the windows.

The South Africans I talked to don't think anything of it. One said "Good neighbors start with good fences." When I expressed my surprise at the fence culture, folks said things like "[Americans] are the ones that totally changed your  airport security system after 9/11. You're as much a culture of fear, or more so, than [South Africans] are."

This was an interesting observation, but of course, as an ethnocentric American, I didn't quite see it that way. ;) From the outside looking in, I see fence culture everywhere. I was flipping through an advertising insert in the local newspaper and it was filled with security options for your home. Many were focused on being very secure without looking overtly like security. There were steel blinds that could "withstand an attack from a 2kg hammer" while still looking stylish in your home. There's monitoring services and guard services.

Some South Africans I talked to about this said that fence culture has always been. First when the Whites in power separated themselves from the Blacks, and now when the "folks with stuff" separate themselves from the folks without stuff. The burbclaves I've seen are fairly mixed, with some leaning one way or the other, but generally, it seems, if you have the money to live somewhere, you can live there. For example, my brother-in-law's family stays in a community of 30 or so houses that has every color under the sun. The common thread is that they all live in this gated community. They all have satellite TV, washing machines, hot water, etc. Suburbs are suburbs in my experience, no matter where you are in the world. This might as well be Kansas, from an amenities point of view.

It seems to me that the distance between the haves and the have nots here in South Africa is fairly marked. This has been my experience in other African countries as well. Hiring a full-time maid is a fairly inexpensive prospect here, as is day labor or construction work.

Where things come into stark contrast is when you leave your community and venture out. So far I've been the only White guy walking anywhere. At the mall today, I was lost and I asked someone how to exit the mall. She asked where I parked, and when I said, I walked, she was visibly shocked. Not regular bemused, but taken aback. Apparently going somewhere without a car is an odd thing. I looked like a have, but was doing a have-not activity. Silly Americans I suppose.

About Scott

Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.

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My passport is nearly out of pages, and that nearly kept me from entering South Africa this weekend. South Africa has a strict rule that your passport not only expire more than 3 months in the future (which is common) but also that it have at least TWO full blank pages left.

The Situation

I knew this, but didn't worry about it because I have exactly two pages (23 and 24) left. However, when we arrived in Johannesburg Airport and started going through passport control, the young lady at the desk announced:

"Your Passport is full."

"Ah, well, it has two free pages at the back."

"NO. It's full. Those pages are for amendments, not Visas."

"Really? I didn't realize that. I'm not sure I know what an amendment is. Can we just use those and I'll promise to get more pages when I get back home?"

"No."

"Well, what can be done? Is there someone I can talk to?"

"What are you saying exactly?"

"I'm wondering if there's someone who might be able to help out with this problem."

"Are you implying I don't know how to do my job?"

"Um, no, not at all, I'm just trying to understand what the next steps are."

At this point, I'm literally stunned. The anger and negative vibe I'm getting here is really greater than ANYTHING I've ever felt before. We've had stones thrown at us by hooligans and had years of stares and negativity, but I'm really sensing that this lady HATES me, and I'm only a few sentences into our interaction here.

Then a older white guy comes over (the angry passport person was a very young Black lady) and asks what's up. It's clear that he's a peer from a job perspective. NOT a boss. In fact, there doesn't appear to be a boss anywhere to be seen. I'm used to some kind of passport overseer around.

Anyway, this guys says, "No, no, there's a new rule - there was a memo - that it's now OK to use the Amendments page on American Passports." This new rule is apparently a few months old.

I've been silent since my last sentence...but now the older guy and the young lady are starting to get into it, in front of me. He's saying that he'll take the responsibility/fall and sign whatever to get me my visa. She's saying no way. Then he snatches my passport from her and walks away sharper, declaring "...and now I have to do YOUR job."

The young lady is now mumbling under her breath in isiZulu about what an asshole both this guy and I am. But she's continuing to process the family's passport. A VERY long ten minutes pass and Older Guy comes over all apologies and light, saying he's sorry for the confusion and the trouble. He leaves.

The Young Lady gives us our passports and I say "Siyabonga sibili sisi..." She starts a little, but there's still steam coming out of her ears. But, we're through.

The Analysis

My wife is pretty steamed at this point, but not with Young Lady, instead with me. She feels I handled a very African situation in a very American way. Rather than being instantly and extremely submissive to the Person in Power, I was logical, and implied that perhaps a supervisor could break the impasse.

My brother in law feels that Americans in a service capacity (like a Passport Control Officer) typically don't want responsibility, preferring instead to defer to a supervisor who would ultimately take any heat from a decision. Africans, on the other hand, will assert any and all power that they have, almost a societal game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. A bus driver may be a "societal nobody" but he's still King of the Bus and he can kick Hobos and Presidents alike off the bus. This woman, for whatever reason, was asserting her Power, and when I didn't back down and say something like "Oh, my, I'm so sorry, I had no idea...can you help me?" I had already lost.

This interaction put a REALLY bad taste in my mouth, as it was an interaction that totally didn't go the way my mental script had laid it out.

As much as people are the same, cultures are VERY different. Now I realize that this Young Lady might have just broken up with her boyfriend or been oppressed by Whites her whole life. Or, maybe she just had a bad day and I got caught in the middle. I'll never know, but I do know that I was a biscuit away from being turned around (or calling the US Embassy) and came dangerously close to a ruined trip.

What's the moral of the story? I've travelled all over, and I think I'm pretty thoughtful, knowledgeable and even charming. This usually works great for me (has for 35 years) in interaction with folks. However, even after more than a half-dozen trips to various African countries, I'm reminded that I don't know much at all. I'm not quite sure what I could have done to make this interaction more successful, short of living in South Africa for more than a month at a time.

What do YOU think, Dear Reader? How do things work in your country between People with Power and People without? This might be as simple as an interaction between a customer and a waiter, or a loan officer, or a customs agent.

About Scott

Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.

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My one-hundred-and-forty-first podcast is up. I talk with Dan and Brian as they turn the successful Coding4Fun blog into a book. Brian shares how to interface with the Nintendo Wii's Wiimote, and Dan tells us how to download and convert YouTube videos in one click.

Subscribe:

• Download: MP3 Full Show #141
• Play in your browser.

Do also remember the complete archives are always up and they have PDF Transcripts, a little known feature that show up a few weeks after each show.

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As I've said before this show comes to you with the audio expertise and stewardship of Carl Franklin. The name comes from Travis Illig, but the goal of the show is simple. Avoid wasting the listener's time. (and make the commute less boring)

About Scott

Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.

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We try to go to Africa every year if we can. We went there to get married and negotiate lobola. We took our first son there to meet his Grandmother, and now we head back to introduce Son #2 to Gogo.

We're all packed and the house is safe in the hands of the house-sitter. We've got about 25 hours of travel ahead of us with a 1 year old and a 3 year old in tow.

If I'm connected at all on this trip, it'll be to blog about our travels, so temporarily, this blog will turn into an Africa Travel Blog, as it has every year (or every other year) in December, so be warned. If you're not interested (as Jeff is not) in such gripping topics as Black Hair, "Waiting for Death's Sweet Release" or Finding a Fundi, then I'll see you in January. If I get a chance, we'll podcast from the other side of the world as well.

One other thing, I'll be stopping by two User Groups while ekhaya, first on the 8th at 6:30pm in Gauteng in Johannesburg, South Africa:

When: 8th December 2008 18:30 - 20:30
Venue: Microsoft Auditorium 2, Bryanston (directions)
Topic: Probably MVC and very open Q&A - Vote here.
RSVP: Please RSVP including your full name as Microsoft security now requires this upfront.

Then in Cape Town on the 17th at 1:00pm in Mowbray:

When: 17th December 2008 13:00 (sharp) (yes, that's 1pm)
Venue: Microsoft Cape Town -  Golf Park 3, Engen House, Raapenberg Road, Mowbray
Topic: "Building a Real Website with ASP.NET MVC: Suffering and Pain and Joy" and (very) open Q&A
RSVP: Please RSVP including your full name as Microsoft security now requires this upfront, at hilton at giesenow.com or at http://dotnet.org.za/sadevelopercapetownevents/

Please feel free to spread the word if you're in RSA, but remember that RSVP'ing is needed. See you there!

About Scott

Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.

About   Newsletter

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